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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

eight- Lovers Displaced


“Good job Hurt!” An important looking man in a very expensive suit shakes Henry’s hand heartily. He’s the vice president of Modern Real, the burgeoning real estate development company that Henry works for as Director of Operations for their Portland building, Modern Pearl. Here on one of the top floors of Modern Tower, the company’s headquarters located in the bright center of New York City, Henry wipes his head dry of sweat, having just finished a long, lively, dance of seduction in front of a table of executives tasked with deciding his Modern future.
“Have a seat in the next room. We just need to go over a few things. We’ll call you in as soon as we’re ready.” The distinguished looking man gently escorts Henry out of the board room, smiling as he shuts the double-doors. There is a gathering of lounge chairs near the windows. Henry loosens his tie and sits back on the one that looks softest. From this throne he looks out into the world— the center of the world. His eyes reflect the lights, all of the lights: the buildings, the neon, the cars, and the people. But all he sees is his own reflection in the glass of the spotless window. His face, tired but still handsome, looking back at him with a glint of pride. He takes a deep breath, and after a few touches with his thumb, brings his phone to his ear.

“Hi Audrey, I’m waiting for them to make their decision now…” He laughs. “Well did you?” Another laugh. “I told you so…” Silence. “Are you smoking? Don’t lie to me…” He sighs. “I thought we talked about this. I don’t want you smoking anymore.” He grips the armrest with his free hand. “I don’t care if it’s just one. Just stop.” He hears movement in the next room and fixes his tie with his free hand. “Sorry Aud’, I didn’t hear what you just said. Did you get my e-mail with the list?” He smiles condescendingly. “I don’t like what you have in your kitchen. Throw all the food out, and buy what’s on the list. Trust me, you’ll feel a difference within a week! Hold on hun…”
The double doors open wide, the vice president walks through and over to Henry, who stands from the chair holding the phone behind his back.
“Congratulations Hurt! We’re giving you the Pearl. Follow me back inside and we’ll make it official.” The man walks back through the doors, leaving Henry alone to end his call.
“Yeah, Audrey? I got it! I gotta run but I’ll call you tomorrow morning from JFK. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight Henry! Congratulations! I’m so proud of you…” Audrey hears her phone beep in her ears. The call was ended after she said Henry. She sighs then smiles at the young man sitting next to her.
“I’m sorry, that was my boyfriend. He just got promoted!” She drops her cigarette on the ground next to her bare feet.
“That’s ok. Do you want another?” The young man holds out an open pack. The two are sitting on the steps outside Audrey’s apartment. It’s the same young man from the East Coast back visiting his girlfriend, Audrey’s upstairs neighbor.
“I can’t, my boyfriend... Thanks though.”
“I understand.” He nods understandingly, thinking about his girlfriend upstairs and if it’s been enough time since their fight for him to go back to the apartment and apologize. Across the parking lot, another resident is by the bins throwing away glass bottles, one by one. The clanging is loud and sharp.
“Well, I think I’m gonna go back up. I got a lot of begging and groveling to do and it’s getting late. Nice meeting you, Audrey.”
“Good luck! Just tell her she’s beautiful, it always works.” She gives him a thumbs-up as he walks into the building and disappears up the stairs. She hears a door open and close and looks up at the window above her bedroom. A light goes on, a lamp light, making yellow-orange streaks out of the dark that filled the room for the past half-hour. She sees shadows; two blobs slow dancing around the white ceiling. They merge together into one fluid blob, flickering like a flame. The light goes off and Audrey is alone. She picks her phone up from the ground beside her, and dials her friend.

“Hey Nick! What are you doing? I’m watching the Big Bear crawl across the sky.” She switches ears. “That sounds nice. You haven’t painted since Maria… What is it of?” She laughs. “Oh, c’mon! Tell me!” She growls. “Fine. I’ll wait till it’s finished. Hey Nick?” She pauses. “I’m sorry nothing happened between you and Chloe. If she doesn’t know how amazing you are then she doesn’t deserve to know! Okay Nick?”

“Okay Audrey. Besides, even if she was interested in me, it would have been impossible with Sophie around all the time. I know she wants us to hook up but she’s involuntarily cock-blocking me. But I guess it doesn’t matter. Nothing happened and nothing will.” He listens. “Thanks and don’t worry, I’ve already moved on.” He laughs. “You too. See you tomorrow?” He sighs. “It’s alright. I can handle the shop alone tomorrow. Have fun with Henry. See you Thursday. Sleep tight.”

Nick is sitting on the edge of his bed. He looks at his phone, presses the red button and continues to stare. His thumb scrolls to a name and hovers above it, wanting to press it. He pulls away and throws the phone across the bed. With a groan, he lays back keeping his eyes on the canvas in the corner of the room. He told Audrey he had been painting. The brush in his hand is fresh out of its packaging. He can’t understand why he lied, why he lied last week about his attraction to Chloe, and why he felt he needed to keep lying about it. He groans and closes his eyes.
Neon lines streak across the black lids; a map of plane routes, arcing trajectories delivering one person to another; a map of phone calls linking one lover to another in a country where long distance isn’t so long a distance.
He opens his eyes to a clean white ceiling. In his head is a story. His hand, the brush, reaches up towards the giant canvas. He doesn’t reach, but begins to paint anyway. The brush swirls and sweeps, leaving permanent stains in the invisible air.
A path, a trail of dirt, surrounded by tall trees. Flowers of different shapes and colors lining the sides of the trail like light-strips lining the aisles of movie theatres; they guide the way. A woman walking away, down the path, frozen mid-step. She’s dressed for hiking, the way someone who doesn’t normally go hiking would dress for hiking. A man stands beside her, a hand around her elbow. His face looks confident, yet pleading. He is the reason they’re both frozen in this moment. Nick closes his eyes again, but only for a few seconds.
When he looks at the ceiling again, his creation has come to life. The man has convinced the woman to turn around and she follows him off the trail into a clearing canopied by the tall trees. They are no longer bound by a trail, guiding them one-way and keeping them from crossing the lines that confine. They are alone. No one sees what they do next. But they remember. A kiss concealed in the Tillamook Trail.
Nick grabs his phone and sits up. The ceiling fades back to a clean white. It doesn’t take long to scroll through the phonebook. He presses the green button.

“Chloe Clarimonde.” Her phone is turned off.
Chloe lies under her blanket naked, reading what’s left of a chapter before she closes the book for the day. It’s a novella about a girl who loves a man who doesn’t love her… as much. She finishes the chapter, catches a tear running down her cheek, and then turns out the light. Her eyes close and in her head a thought, one that returns every night before she goes to bed: why am I so afraid of love?

All across America, lights go out and people fall asleep. From New York to Portland, ocean to ocean, a vast darkness ever growing. The neon lines stretching across the lovelorn land flicker off one by one, I love you by I love you.

Chloe drifts into sleep and instead of a dream, she wakes up inside a memory. The beach at midnight; a scene of blue and white. Her sister asleep in bed; the allergy medicines ensured she would stay asleep. Did he get the note slipped under the heavy hotel door? Will he kiss me like he did in the clearing? Her answers come on time, holding in his right hand the folded note he found by his door. She runs to his arms.
Here on the edge of this lovelorn land, this country of young lovers displaced. Here where the end of the vast darkness meets the beginning of another vast darkness, they make love for the first time. The voices of the waves echoing their secret across the wide reach of the Pacific.



Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dactylx/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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